This is the sort of thing people go crazy for in certain churches: a man’s car gets clamped by cowboys who want hundreds of pounds to release it, but he feels a sense of injustice, so refuses to give in. He stays in his car, which means they can’t tow it away, and he prays and he prays. And the people who worship with him turn out in a huge crowd to say, ‘No, this is not going to happen. We will resist.’ And he wins. The clampers give up, after a stand-off lasting more than a day. But here’s the thing …Continue reading “The Man Who Beat The Cowboy Clampers”
We Need This Madness For The Sake Of Our Souls
Workers of Britain, unite! Rise and dance at dawn, or charm a worm out of the ground – or do anything, really, as long as it’s daft. May Day madness is under threat and it is our patriotic duty to save it. A piece for The Guardian
‘I apologise to Britain’ Jools Holland
Jools Holland broke one of the great taboos in 1986, by telling the viewers – live at tea-time – to tune in or be ‘ungroovy fuckers’. There was uproar and he was suspended. Times change. A few years ago a poll of broadcasters named it among the 50 Most Gripping Moments In British Television History. You might expect Holland to be proud of that, but he is not. ‘I would just like to apologise to Britain,’ he says, not joking. ‘Mary Whitehouse wrote to me, saying, “If you do this, standards will drop.” I wrote back saying: “I absolutely agree with you. It was an inadvertent slip of the tongue on my part but actually, you’ve got a point.” She was quite right. It has all gone downhill.’ Read the rest of the interview here
‘A Tarot card reader told my Mum she’d have a world famous baby’ Michael McIntyre
‘I was brought up to believe I was really something quite special,’ says Michael McIntyre. Many of us are, by loving parents, but this was more intense. It started before he was even born. ‘My mother was a young, impressionable 19-year-old walking down the street near her home in Kensington one day when she passed a bookshop, went in on a whim and was persuaded to have a tarot-card reading. The psychic said, “You are pregnant.” My mum said, “I’m not.” But the person reading the cards insisted. “You will have a son. He will be world-famous, everybody will know his name, he will do wonderful things. He is special.”
‘It did briefly cross her mind that maybe tarot readers had a deal with Boots whereby they predicted certain things that would send people immediately to the chemist. “You are pregnant” or “You have a cold sore coming”. Anyway, it was positive.’ So there were great expectations of the child born in London in February 1976. This does sound like a comedian’s yarn, though. Is he telling the truth? ‘Yes, absolutely. I had this weird secret. She was such a believer that she told me this was just how it was. So I had a feeling as a kid that I was going to be this leader of men. When you’re very young you’re looking for magic, so when your mother tells you something like that, you believe it.’ Read how it turned out here
Saying goodbye to Bartley Gorman, bareknuckle boxing champion of the world
The heavyweight champion Tyson Fury is said to be related to a legendary figure called Bartley Gorman who was for decades the bare-knuckle champion of the world. I was at Gorman’s funeral in 2002, a day that lives long in the memory. This is what I wrote at the time.
Continue reading “Saying goodbye to Bartley Gorman, bareknuckle boxing champion of the world”